There is a strange phenomenon I’ve grown accustomed to while living in Arizona. Like clock-work, if I don’t clean the toilets every ten days a strange orange mold like film starts to coat the inner bowl. When I lived back East I wasn’t aware this orange film was even an option. I am pretty sure I never saw it and Lord knows I wasn’t more meticulous in my twenties than I am now. It’s probably due to cancer causing water treatment the state of Arizona uses to make our desert water drinkable. But I digress.
So this orange ick has become the house-cleaning version of a pop up timer on a Thanksgiving turkey. Now back in the day when money grew on trees and 2008 hadn’t slapped me around like Chris Brown, I had a house cleaner every two weeks. I know I’ve done the math several times and it still makes me throw up a little in my mouth ($200 per month over ten years compounded at a 10% annual interest rate is $38,249.82 in the bank – oh the frivolity). But let me tell you, you could have eaten off my floors. Now they are so hairy from dog fur and dust bunnies you could put a collar on them and take them for a walk. Because since the housecleaning duties have fallen largely to me and the boys (okay I am a teeny bit proud that my seven year old can vacuum his ass off – you can thank me now, future wife) the orange ick has become the bane of my existence. It’s like the scale in your doctor’s office that does not read five pounds lighter (like the one in your bathroom at home). There’s no fooling it!
Which is why I nearly cried tears of joy this week when I dropped by a friend’s home and had to dash to the bathroom because I had drank a gallon of water and was about to burst. As she yelled desperately after me to please use the other bathroom and I yelled back the closet one would be just fine, I had no idea I was about to have a moment of true connection with another working mom. In a bathroom. That clearly hadn’t been washed in eleven days. Because as I lifted the lid I saw to my surprise and delight my dear friend, the orange ick.
So orange ick, thanks for the reminder that I am not alone!
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